3 Gender Gaps Nobody Warned Me About Before I Moved to Germany (and how to close them)

Okay, looking back, there is something I wish I’d known earlier…

 

When I packed my bags and moved here, I told everyone – my mom, my best friend, myself,… mostly myself – that it was “just for like 2 years, to see something else and come back.”

 

I’d get some experience, improve my German beyond ordering in my favouritefavorite bakery – they already know me when I enter on Saturday with my sleepy eyes – my “Sauerteigbrot mit Körner und zwei Laugenstangen, bitte”.

 

And then I would head back home to a life that looked a lot more like stunning nature and a lot less like grey November skies (actually could also bebe also a December, or January-March sky sadly enough 😅).

 

Now… That was six years ago.

 

Ufff… indeed, where did the time go?

 

I’ve now renewed my Anmeldung more times than I can count; I own a proper winter coat – for this, what I finally understood a “real winter” is… like

 

And somewhere along the way “just for a bit” quietly turned into an actual life here.

 

Here’s the thing nobody tells you when you’re 27 and starry-eyed about your big expat adventure: your finances don’t wait around for you to decide how long you’re staying.

 

While I was busy telling myself “I’ll sort out the serious money stuff once I know where I’m actually going to end up,” three very real, very German (well – not only German, but let’s stay local for today) gaps were quietly opening up underneath me. And I can tell you, I had absolutely no idea.

 

Because meanwhile, life was very much happening. Most of my friends live in the same area, and we developed a sports routine for doing Yoga at least once a week and getting stronger together #letstalkfemalempowerment 😀!

 

Also, trying to meet up for our most favourite routine on Sundays – at first brunch at one’s house and then Kulturprogramm – like Exhibitions or Ausflug 🖼️ 🚂.

 

You see – it’s A LIFE 😀! But what’s also part of a life – and, unfortunately, very much belongs to it too – are those very gaps I just mentioned. Quietly opening up whether we’re looking at them – or not…

 

Well, now I have looked, so I am going to share this with you before you wait as long as I did 🥹.

 

So that’s what today is about today:

 

• The Gender Pay Gap
• The Gender Pension Gap
• The Gender Wealth Gap

 

– and how you can actually start closing them, together with other women who are in the same situation as you, for example in the fin:marie Academy.

 

What I have to say upfront – of course, we are no witches at fin:marie (even though I wish secretly 😀)… so we don’t have a spell, and you are going to be rich tomorrow.

 

BUT: What we offer is a community of like-thinking women and expertise from Karolina Decker, our founder, who spent years in the big bank industry before running fin:marie and Schulgold (You can look her up here on LinkedIn if you want to know more 🙂).

 

She’s not new to this, but she’s the woman who actually knows the system, translating it for the rest of us.

 

Still… let’s start slowly, ok? First things first – I’ll walk you through what these gaps mean specifically for us:

 

The expat women who maybe don’t even know yet how long “here” is going to last – and what the Academy actually helps you do about it once you’re ready – if this is not for you now, fair – I mean, you are reading this article. And this is more than enough for me right now 💪.

 

Grab your oat milk latte, sit down on your super uncomfy but well-designed chair in your favorite coffee place with those calm jazzy tunes.

 

Believe me, this one’s worth reading properly. ☕

 

“I’m only here for a bit” is the most expensive sentence you’ll say

 

“Time is money” we always say… and omg, that’s unfortunately so true.

 

Here’s my honest confession: for the first two, maybe three years here, I genuinely believed that because my stay was “temporary,” none of the boring long-term money stuff applied to me.

 

Pension contributions? Not my problem;, I’m leaving eventually. And investing? Why would I lock money into a German system in complicated deutsche Bürokratie I might not even be part of in a few years? – and, btw. I think I need to be really informed about this topic, to start and not lose all my money, no? 😳

 

I know, at first you think, “yes, totally.” It sounds almost logical if you don’t dive deeper into that money topic.

 

Except – and this is the part I fooled myself a tiny bit too much –

 

Nobody knows exactly how long “a few years abroad” turns into – this can become a finance trap.

 

I’ve met women who came for a one-year internship and are now in year twelve, with a on year twelve, mortgage and two children. I’ve met others who really did leave after eighteen months. There’s no way to know in advance which one you’ll be.

 

And the gaps we’re about to talk about? They don’t check your visa status or your five-year plan before they start working against you. They are simply not interested in your private life, and if you are uncertain whether you wanna stay now in Munich or exchange the Alps again for your beautiful mountains in Colorado.

 

They start on day one.

 

But that should not scare you away now; that’s what we are here for, to eliminate those gaps created by an old-fashioned system together – step by step. So let’s understand them first. What are they?

 

Gap #1: The Gender Pay Gap – yes, it applies to you too

 

You’ve heard the term. Maybe you’ve even seen the statistic thrown around on a LinkedIn post between two brunch photos. But have you actually sat down and calculated what it means for your paycheck in Germany?

 

We tend to follow international news and speakers living abroad sometimes… but yeah, we should know what’s happening IN the country we live in.

 

Here’s a scenario that might feel a little too familiar (I changed the name, but there was a woman like her in one of my Espresso Coachings and telling me about her situation):

 

So, meet Priya, 33, working in marketing in Frankfurt. She’s fluent in four languages, has an international network most of her German colleagues would kill for, and has relocated her entire life twice for her career. Genuinely impressive skill set.

 

 

Then there’s Jens. He is working on the same team in a similar role and has been at the company for two years less than she hasin the same team, in a similar role, and has been at the company two years less than her. Jens is originally from Darmstadt (well, do you know this town with the funny name 😀?)

 

… has never lived abroad, doesn’t speak a third language, and yet – somehow – earns noticeably more than Priya does.

 

They are friends – go for lunch, and Jens also helps her and Jens helps her also in situations where more than her B2 in German is required.

 

Important: This has nothing to do with Jens at all, it’s rather about the fact that “international experience,” “adaptability,” “navigating an entirely new bureaucracy in a language that isn’t yours” and being a woman who is facing more financial disadvantages then men – these are real, valuable skills, and they very often don’t show up on a German salary slip the way they should.

 

This is about your financial health for later.

 

The first step to shrink the Gender Pay Gap

 

• Know your number. Not “I have a rough feeling I’m underpaid” – the actual figure. What do people in comparable roles earn? Websites like Kununu or Glassdoor Germany are a start, but honestly, talking to other women (yes, out loud, yes, about actual numbers) tends to be far more accurate.

• Budget like it’s a skill, not a punishment. This isn’t about oat-milk-latte shaming yourself into a spreadsheet spiral. It’s about knowing, clearly, what comes in and what goes out — so you can actually see what’s left to work with.

• Then — and only then — decide what to do with what’s left. More on that in Gap #3.

 

Gap #2: The Pension Gap — and why “I might leave anyway” doesn’t save you

 

This is the gap that seems sooo far away until it is not anymore.

 

In Germany, women retire with, on average, around 30% less pension than men. Thirty percent. And a huge chunk of that comes down to things that sound almost mundane on paper: parental leave, part-time work, caring for relatives – the stuff that quietly, structurally, chips away at your Rentenpunkte year after year.

 

And yes, that’s super unfair considering you are working non-stop when you are a mother e.g., and carrying so much responsibility your whole life.

 

Now, you might be thinking: “Sure, but that’s the German pension system. I’m not even sure I’ll retire here.” Fair. Except here’s the uncomfortable bit – every year you spend earning less, investing less, or not thinking about it at all is a year that doesn’t come back, wherever you eventually retire.

 

The gap doesn’t only live inside the gesetzliche Rente. It lives inside your entire financial picture — your savings, your investments, your ability to build something that’s genuinely yours.

 

So whether you retire in Cologne or eventually move back to wherever “home” is, this still applies to you: the longer you wait to look at it, the bigger the gap you’re waiting to close.

 

The move against the Pension Gap isn’t glamorous, but it works:

 

Actually request your Rentenauskunft (your pension statement) — you can do this online in about ten minutes — and just… look at it. Not to panic, but just to know, as you can’t close a gap you’ve never measured.

 

Gap #3: The Wealth Gap — the one I really wish someone had told me about sooner

 

Alright, here’s my own slightly embarrassing story.

 

Somewhere around year two here, a friend asked me what I’d built up for myself, financially. Not what I earned, what I’d actually built.

 

I had to make my head around that at first, and then I froze a little, because the honest answer was: not much.

 

Thinking it’s enough to have a savings account is not something stupid, of course. We just don’t get much information on how to invest properly, because theabout how to invest properly, as this finance world is a men’s world… I had good intentions.

 

Just, I did not have a Depot (that’s a brokerage account, for anyone who hasn’t hit that particular vocabulary wall yet) with my name on it 🤓.

 

My reasoning at the time felt airtight: “I don’t know if I’m staying, so why would I start investing here?”

 

Hmmm….

 

Meanwhile, every single month I waited was a month my future self would eventually have to make up for.

 

Let’s actually look at what that costs. If I’d started investing just €200 a month from the day I landed, at an average 7% annual return, here’s roughly how the numbers would stack up against someone starting the exact same plan five years later:

 

 

 

By the time either of us gets to a 30-year mark, the person who started five years earlier isn’t just €12,000 ahead (five years × €200/month). They’re roughly €116,000 ahead. That’s compounding doing what compounding does – quietly, relentlessly, in the background, while you’re deciding whether or not you’re “really” staying.

 

That number is illustrative, not a promise -markets move, returns aren’t guaranteed, none of us has a crystal ball. But the shape of it is real: waiting doesn’t just cost you the years you waited. It costs you what those years would have grown into.

 

And to be clear – this isn’t your fault, and I’m not saying this to make you spiral into your banking app at midnight.

 

Nobody sat us down and said, “hey, open your own Depot, regardless of your relationship status or how long your visa is valid for.” Most of us were never taught to see our own name on our own investments as the default. So now we’re teaching each other, right 🙂?

 

The move against the Wealth Gap: open your own depot. And no, not a joint account with your partner – JUST yours ❤️‍🔥.

 

If that thought makes you a little nervous about how your partner might react, I’d gently flip that: it’s not weird that you want financial independence. It would be a little weird if he minded.

 

And if you don’t have a partner… – well, then you don’t have to think about this at all 😀!

 

Learn how to close those 3 Gaps in the fin:marie Academy

 

This is exactly why we built the fin:marie Academy – because closing three structural gaps by yourself, in a system that wasn’t really built with you in mind, in a country you may or may not have fully unpacked your emotional suitcase in yet, is genuinely hard to do alone. #Iknowwell

 

Together, it’s a lot more doable – like so many other things… for example yeah… coming back to this: Motivating each other to go to yoga together!

 

Inside the fin:marie Academy, you’ll actually work through:

 

👍 Getting your full financial overview — income, spending, and what’s genuinely left over, without the shame spiral.

👍 Understanding and requesting your Rentenauskunft, so you know exactly where your pension gap stands today.

👍 Opening and understanding your own Depot — step by step, in plain English, no finance-bro jargon.

👍 Building an investing habit that fits your actual life, whether you’re staying two more years or twenty.

👍 A community of other women — expats and locals — figuring out the exact same system, sharing the exact same “wait, why did nobody explain this to me” moments.

 

You don’t need to have your ten-year plan sorted to join. You don’t even need to know if “home” is still where you started or somewhere entirely new by now. You just need to be ready to stop guessing.

 

The Recap (write this one down) to eliminate Gender Gaps – step by step!

 

✗ Don’t:

 

• Assume the gaps don’t apply to you because your stay “might be temporary.”

• Wait until you know your exact long-term plan before you start investing.

• Keep your finances only in a joint account and call that financial security.

• Sit with vague unease about money instead of just looking at the actual numbers.

 

✓ Do:

 

• Know your market rate — actual numbers, not a feeling.

• Request your Rentenauskunft. Ten minutes, real clarity.

• Open your own Depot, with your own name on it.

• Start now, even small — because compounding rewards the early, not the perfect.

 

Whenever you’re ready to actually work through this instead of just blocking the thoughts out (no judgment, I did the blocking-out thing for two years)

 

— the fin:marie Academy is there, and honestly, it’s a lot more fun to close these gaps with company than on your own. 💛

👉 Check out the fin:marie Academy and let’s stop letting these gaps write our financial future for us.